TMI Tuesday

1. Do you believe anyone truly likes their job? If so, why?

I just discussed this with my friend yesterday. I believe that you truly have to follow your passion in life to fully be happy with the career choice that you make. In other words, you can't just go after what make the most money.
2. Do you 1) live to work or 2) work to live 3) not see a difference?
I would want to say that you should live to work. Everyone was placed here to serve a purpose, so you should do whatever your role is, but we do exist in a world where you must work to live because you have to take care of yourself and all the many wonderful expenses that entails.
3. How many hours do you work a week?
I am a full time college student, that's enough work!
4. What was your safety item (i.e. blankie) from when you were little?
I had a bear and my little pink and whit crochet blanket.
5. Have you ever used food during sex?
I don't really think of ice as a food...

Bonus (as in optional):What is your guilty food pleasure?

Snickers bar

Deja Vu

Three years ago just happened again...
but with a different person.

When will I ever learn?

Celtics Win!

Soo dramatic, but well deserved.

I've never really cared much for pro-basketball before but this series was great to watch from beginning to end. I guess I can look forward to watching and learning more next go round.

I Like...

I've always been fond of Ms. Solange. I actually bought her first CD and loved it when she came out with "Feelin You". Ever since I heard this song back in April, I've been in love and the video is even better. Hopefully she does well this time around. Enjoy!

TMI Tuesday

1.What's your favorite color of lingerie?

I don't own official lingerie like a real set. I'll get that when I have someone worthwhile to perform for lol. But I've got some cute undies in pretty colors.

2. Do you have a porn collection?

Negative. Porn really doesn't turn me on all that much. They treat those girls like animals!

3. Do you have any fetishes?

None that I have discovered yet...

4. What is your favorite place to have sex?

The bed... I haven't got real adventurous yet.

5. Do you like to scratch, bite, pull hair, etc? Do you like having it done to you?

Yeah I'm down with giving and receiving. I like it rough sometimes lol.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you think the number of sexual partners you've had is below average, average, or above average, and how does that make you feel?

I mean to me given how long I've been having sex its a little more than I would have wanted. Shit happens. I have no regrets.

I'm trying to calm down.

Another Father-LESS Day

I am pretty much candid with people when it comes to talking about my father.

My brother and I are pretty much an illusion in his eyes.

He is pretty much like a distant family member that you might see after a long time and at first everyone is happy, then it just like silence because you all don't even know what to say to each other because you don't know too much about them.

When I was younger, my "father" made attempts to be a father. He would come take us out and buy us what we wanted. We would even stay with him on the weekends frequently. Then one day it was like something changed, and it all stopped.

This man knows nothing about me. I can say the same about him.

The simple things like personality traits, likes, dislikes

friends... NOTHING!

Hasn't attended any important milestones... graduation, proms.

It's sad and sometimes it makes me angry. I can definitely tell that it affects my brother and I more now than it did when we were younger. I truly believe that if my father had played a significant role in our lives that my brother would not be into the lifestyle of which he lives now. But what can you do? And even sadder is the fact that he comes from a large family and never has any of them ever tried to reach out to us. It's just really like a sad situation, maybe because my moms side would never do that.

I wonder why my father acts the way he does. But I strongly believe in karma and that you reap what you sow. I would at any moment establish a real relationship back with my father but only time will tell if that would ever happen. Growing up this way has made me yearn to not raise my child in this fashion and hopefully the man who will father my child would not be like my father.

After all is said and done, I really do appreciate my mother for all that she has done for me.

Besides everything, I do have males that have helped raise me. I have great uncles and my late wonderful grandfather. I loved my grandfather so much. I definitely have him to thank for my mannerisms and my no nonsense attitude! He was a great man who believed that you should work hard to earn something.

Outsiders were afraid of him because he seemed very stern but he gave us anything we wanted. I wish he was still around to get some of my younger cousins who weren't raised under him in line!

Love you Pop-Pop.

Happy Fathers Day to all the real men playing a part in their child's life.

24 hrs...

So its been six months...
I missed him.
So I hit him up on FB first to save face, you know cuz it wouldn't hurt that much if he never responded or if he got like crazy on me or something. So then that was cool we exchanged a few convos on there so I decided I would call him next to keep it going.
I chickened out.
I decided to text him instead.
He responded back immediately.
It was fine at first regular, standard conversation that you would share with anyone at the beginning.
Then, it was brought up.
Who cut who off...
Aaahh! I wasn't trying to go there, but how could I not. We both avoided each other. Why? I don't know. I missed him though at times and I moved on to others, but certain things would make me think of him.
So, after debating I thought it was over...so I let him know to hit me up when he wanted to talk.

Next day...
He calls me.
I was surprised to hear from him so soon.
It was the first time I heard his voice in months and he sounded so good! OMG.
I was dying on the inside.
We talked for a bit.
Then he said we should meet up soon, "I know you want to see me, so lets stop BSing"
I died again.
Then he told me he was living in an apartment this coming school year.
"Are you gonna come visit me?"
"Are you going to come stay the night with me...I will fix you breakfast"
I died again.
I told him I had to call him back shortly afterwards.
It was too much...
I don't know how I feel yet, what I'm getting myself into or what may happen.

What have I created?

TMI Tuesday

1. If you're in love with your partner, does it make the sex better?

Totally! It takes physical and emotional attraction to make it the best experience.

2. What is the most expensive sex toy you've ever purchased?

Surprisingly I don't own any. I always wanted to buy one though.

3. If you knew ahead of time you would not have an orgasm, would you still have sex?

Depends on who the person was... I've only had one great real deal orgasm ;(

4. What celebrity would you most like to have sex with if given the chance?

Hhmm. I don't know. Too many to choose from.

5. Have you ever had sex while an audience watched?

Not voluntarily. I might have left the blinds open a time or two.

Bonus (as in optional): Describe the best sexual encounter you've ever had.

With my young love...aaahhh! It just never seemed to end! I miss it!

Inspirational Message

I remember when I first saw this a year ago, I cried for hours. Then once I found it on You Tube I couldn't stop watching it! The message is sooo clear and who else would be so ever wonderful and gracious to deliver it but Jill Scott herself.

I could relate so much because there was a time in my life where I did things to please "boys", but I would be left with hurt, guilt, and shame. I wanted the attention that they gave me even though it wasn't the attention that I fully wanted from them but I accepted what ever form that it came in. It wasn't until I got tired and started realizing as she said that "I was holding me back from the me that I would become" and also that I had to make it about myself to and do what I wanted that would make me happy.

Enjoy!

Where We Stand

I forgot the source of this quote, but I read, heard, or seen it somewhere a while ago.

"Sometime you never know how relevant you are in someones life."

It struck me to think of the many people who are in my life.
Why are they there?
What role do I play in their lives?

I can say that I only surround myself with people in which I share a close connection with. My circle is very small. I was never the type to want to be popular or to have all these people around me. I personally believe that it starts too much drama, fakers and confusion. The relationships that I have with the people I have around me are important.

I often wonder with some people the role I play in their lives...
Some people who I consider close to me are not all that forthcoming about the importance or lack thereof that I may have in their lives. In particular, I have known someone for many years and that person sometimes I feel devalues the friendship that I thought we had by doing things that someone as a friend should not do. This has been a continuous battle over many years, that I have finally grown tired of. Things like this make you wonder if you are relevant in this persons life, and even the fact if they should be relevant in yours.

Happy So-Not-A Virgin-Anymore Anniversary!

So today marks the one year date since I lost my virginity.



It was a warm and summer June day, no one was home. I got a visit from "that boy".

Things escalated...and it happened. It wasn't pleasant at all! I was disappointed and couldn't understand all the hype... until after about the 3rd time LOL!



There were so many other times before this instance that it could have happened, but I had made the decision as a young woman that I would wait until I was with someone that I was sure it would be worth it for. THAT WAS NOT THE CASE! Not that I didn't like "that boy", but as an afterthought he was not the right one. It turned out to get even more worse after that with "that boy". I was real hurt at first thought I had made the hugest mistake ever! I had a lot of regret. My story wasn't this magical thing like other girls I knew. As far as I was concerned, sex made me even more crazier. It bout in a whole new emotional element that I was not ready to handle. Now I know why adults say sex is a grown up thing, cuz you really have to be ready to face what ever comes with that partner you choose.



The deed was done...yeah but sometimes I wish I would have waited or choose another person cuz "that boy" took me on a roller coaster of emotions and had me acting out of control. We don't talk much anymore cuz I have forgave and moved on...Funny the difference a year can make in your life.

OBAMA 4 PRESIDENT!

Who would have ever dreamed that as an African American, I would live to see the making of the first African American president of the United States of America! This is such an amazing time. Last nights victory of clinching the nomination was truly a wonderful experience. I anticipated that it would be settled today, but last night as those votes rolled in I broke down. The ancestors of all African Americans fought so hard for things like this to happen. It truly makes you appreciate your history, your people, and all the great leaders of the past who fought so hard for things like this to come true. I personally thought of my great grandmother who was my heart. A great and wise woman who was born before civil rights leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr. As a child, I would listen to many of the great memories that she shared with me about her upbringings and experiences that she faced growing up a black woman during segregation. She wanted me to be the best at the path of life I chose. I know that she would be so proud to see the achievements of a man like Obama. Its rewarding to know that I will see this unfold and to know that younger generations like my five year old cousin may live to see many more prominent black government positions flourish from this moment.
GO OBAMA 08!

Wackness

So Ive been out of school for about 2 weeks now.
Ive done absolutely nothing!
I have no job, nothing to do during the week at all.
WACK.
Looked today to see if I could get in the BIO class I needed to take this summer, FULL.
I'm graduating in DECEMBER 2009 now. That SUCKS. I have 48 credits to complete now.
Hopefully I can pick up a class somewhere for the second session. My mission this week is to find another job and map out a plan for the next year and a half.
O my life!